It's Finally Starting to Sink In

I am going to Uruguay.

It never really hit me until as of late.
Like, yesterday. And the day before. And the day before.
And today.
I am leaving the country in 15 days. For 5 months.
A foreign country. Far away.

And I am going.

I honestly don't remember why I chose Uruguay. It seems like a weird choice, looking back. I don't feel like I feel like I fit the 'boho/hippie/chill' vibe that I am sort of getting from Uruguay. I feel like I would fit in better with England. But that's because England isn't a ton different from the states. I mean, they obviously have their differences. Like weird words and beans on toast (Kate Nash) and discos and subways and constitutional monarchies and all of that jazz. They didn't actually have jazz, come to think of it. Anyway, I guess it would just be easier to go to England because it would be little effort on my part to do anything. I would fall into comfortability easily. But in Uruguay, it's going to take a lot more effort. I finished reading the Study Abroad books and one of them, Cross Cultural Servanthood, by Duane Elmer, was really good. It was a book primarily oriented towards missions, like hardcore missionary work, but I could see how it would be applicable to me going to Uruguay. I don't really get why the kids going to England or Germany had to read those books. I highly doubt they'll get culture shock like the people going to Uruguay. Unless you're that much of a country bumpkin. But who knows. Maybe they are. They can't look fear in the eyes (fear = Uruguay) and saw 'rawr. Come and getcha sum, fear." Which is what I realized I have done. Maybe not literally. But figuratively, yes, since I am leaving in 15 days and haven't backed out.

I guess what I'm primarily worried about is the cultural differences. And being sure I'm sensitive and not going to perform some awful social gaffe that will humiliate me and shame Uruguay, so that when I leave they'll ask me to never come back ever. Like, I want to build relationships with the people and connect with them in a way that was sort of hard for me to do in India or Thailand or Botswana. Knowing Spanish will make it easier too, but I'm still nervous that I think my Spanish is good but end up looking like a fool. I mean, I know I'm going there to learn it more and be better and more proficient, but hello. I've taken freaking Spanish since I was 13. I should be mildly proficient. So, I don't know. I guess that's why I am the most nervous.

I was going to write more about what I found out about the country, but I am exhausted. So I will write tomorrow.

paz.